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Circles

by Jamie Hamilton

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1.
Resistentia 03:47
The imminent is evident in all of us. It slides off our tongue, Swims through our blood. The news feeds it food until it feeds the news; Perpetual circles of panic consumed. It wouldn’t sleep, wouldn’t rest If the world came to peace. It would fan some new flames, Set fire to the East. Category’s crucial so get back on your side – Your city, your desert, your hole or your hive. You can stay quiet and keep your distance Or you can speak up and make a difference. You can stay quiet and keep your distance Or you can speak up and make a difference. You can align with this existence Or you can stand strong, beautiful resistance.
2.
Oceans 03:18
Home was the house on the hillside, Was the glow of the brake lights, Was a post and a chain. Life was a book that you read once, A raft you could float on When you made your escape. You didn't even know you found it Before you let it go. Your feet were static, Your friends were old But that was an ocean ago. Now, your evenings are carefree But your mornings are empty And your friends are all fake. And you act like it's you that's the sane one And that the rest of the world's wrong, So you push it away.
3.
Keep Me 03:29
You knew you had me Before I knew your name. You were my reason, I was your friend. We were both lonely In our different ways. I followed you home & you took me in. Kept me warm, Kept me full, Kept me gullible. I saw a future, You saw a winter’s day, And you couldn’t keep warm In my weathered skin. I fell too simple So you couldn’t stay. You need it complex, You need it fake. Keep it locked In your chest, Keep it meaningless. Keep me warm, Keep me full, Keep me gullible.
4.
2.54 03:24
I was born on a boat, Not a house or a hospital. I’m the bow on a wave, Not the cat on a windowsill. And there will come a time When my sailor bride – Lonely as a widow – Won’t drive out at night To save me from the gutter where I lie. It was forged out of greed, Not a need or a souvenir. Cursed at the slots, Not pulled out from a grandson’s ear. And there will come a time When it will lose its shine – Sure as the monarch on its skin’s decline – It will rust and fade. I am vile but I’m free And I’m safe when I’m out at sea. I’m not her, she’s not me, I’m not there as she packs and leaves. The coin that’s never really anyone’s to keep Gets picked up, Passed around, Dropped on the street To roll into the gutter next to me.
5.
Churches 04:41
I met death young and let him in And he’s sat on my shoulder since, Whispering, “Don’t you dare take a breath, my child.” He keeps me scared and feeling small, Keeps me quiet in shopping malls. A child in church it all made sense, Though I’ve not been back there since; That cross still hangs around my neck sometimes. It keeps the bible on display, I kept my fear when I lost my faith. Get sober, Get insecure. Get bills And loans And purchase more. You say you’re awake, I’d say you’re a liar. You say you’re alive, I’d say you’re a fake. Now the internet is Jesus Christ, To remedy our empty skies. Oh, California Bethlehem: Please tell us what to worship next. You pray to Jobs for something new... Can’t you see death is creeping up on you? And you can’t run forever.
6.
I was a runner. I woke up early, tied my shoes And trained for hours. Stretched my legs and filled my lungs with air. I prepared, And prepared. The race – it fell on a Sunday And the air was hotter than hell. Twenty-two miles paced out behind me, I lost my footing and fell. I could never finish a single thing, But I would walk to the end with you. I was a statue. Cased myself in stone, I posed And stood for a summer. Tourists smiled and birds sat on my head. I stayed dead, I stayed dead. I moved on a miserable Monday, While the world was hiding indoors. Shivering cold, I sat on the bus home, And picked the stone out my hair. Passengers stared, And stared. I could never wait for anyone (or anything), But I would wait ‘til the end for you.
7.
Aleya 02:45
I stirred in you commotion With the superficial notion, I could pull apart the ocean March on like a Roman, And step inside your broken little head. I was only half right, You sealed every exit tight – Kept out every ray of light And fell in love with loneliness instead. I told myself that this would be the plot. I guess somewhere in that moment I forgot. I was constantly in motion, I was sarcasm and caution, And you were an explosion Of some foreign shore emotion. I found a cause in you I could abide. Once, we were just children; Free from apprehension, But you took off your training wheels, Scraped your knees a few too many times. I never had a doubt you could be home. But you harboured enough doubt for us both.
8.
Flamer 03:35
Can’t commute to the flames With the blind and the dead, So I’ll queue at the bar with the drunks instead. I’ve been one half of two, I’ve been one on my own, Still not a single square mile on this rock feels like home. My most creative friends, Yeah, they’ve all given in. They work in jobs they hate To pay for someone else’s rent. Yet, they look down on me From high-rise misery: See-through smiles on the balcony. I thought about living, I thought about loving. I thought for too long now the doors are all shutting. The people I know Aren’t the people I knew. They’re ahead in a race that I’m happy to lose. The friends I could’ve loved, Yeah, they’re all growing up. They build their homes on Earth While I’m still trying to fly to the sun. And they look up at me Through squinted sympathy: What could’ve been. What could’ve been. Had a dream that I died and became adored: A word sung from the grave – it can weigh so much more. I woke up, I’m still here, I’m still no one. I’ve found comfort and anger in that.
9.
Decay 04:33
It’s been about a decade now Since censorship prevailed. The bastards took my voice box out In a safe and slow betrayal. We were suckers for a scandal; And whilst the scandal sucked us in, They wound up every civil right With sound bites, smiles and spin. We are time, We are decay. And we decline The human way: The sea, To the bay, To the tree, To the cave, To the city. I used to dream so vividly In underwater scenes. Now I only dream in real-time Through television screens. We were bound by our distractions; And whilst distraction bound us well, The corporations bought and sold And the databases swelled. We are time, We are decay. And we decline The human way: The sea, To the bay, To the tree, To the cave, To the city... ... And still just as lost As the fish Or the snake Or the ape.

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released April 4, 2014

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Jamie Hamilton Darwen, UK

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